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Ryouga1100

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Stuck

1 min read
Sometimes, you take on a big project.  You hope it'll end up glorious, and pieces of it look great, just like you imagined.  Then, when you try and bring it all together, it all turns into a big pile of suck.  That's where I am right now.  My lack of background ability bites me in the butt again.

Meh.

Maybe I should just break it into the characters involved and apply some finishing details to them before I post them here.  It's either that or spend a good deal of time practicing backgrounds until I can do a suitable background for what I have planned.

What do you think?  Let me know in the comments.
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Bronycon!

1 min read
Greetings to all of you from Baltimore and a special welcome to newcomers I gave my card to!  I've been having a blast here taking pictures and wandering the halls and meeting all sorts of wonderful folks.  

I have pictures to upload when I get home, including a draw it again, and a con report to write so stay tuned!
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Firstly, please go to www.gofundme.com/FEvendors and donate to support the vendors that had goods stolen during Fiesta Equestria.
Several of my friends vend at conventions and I know how I would feel if it had been them, so lend a hand and help out those vendors please. 

In lighter news, I finally set up on twitter and I have business cards now and will be handing them out to folks that stop me for pictures.  I want to see your pics!

CKrMW4TWoAAfL-a.png large by Ryouga1100

I've just about finished putting together a "Dastardly Spike" outfit, complete with mangled cat-toy and ketchup bottle.  That ought to be fun to walk around Bronycon in! 
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I had a discussion with someone over on EQD about Luna's motivation and actions during Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep, and I realized that there was a much deeper, and somewhat morbid, interpretation of yesterday's episode.

Despite her veneer of being in control, Luna is a very emotional, very vulnerable soul.  We've seen this in her before.  During Luna Eclipsed when Twilight was approaching her at the Nightmare Moon statue, Luna looked very sad, lonely, and vulnerable, only to put on a mask as soon as she heard Twilight speak.  We saw it again later in the same episode when she tried to make peace with Pinkie Pie.  She was timid and hopeful when she held her hoof out.

In the opening scene of this episode, Luna tells the Tantabus "Do your worst", she is literally performing an act of self-harm.  She created the Tantabus to punish her in perpetuity by forcing her to live her worst fears every single night!  To me, this was eerily similar to someone cutting themselves.  

The Tantabus became Luna's razor.

Let that sink in for a second.  The Tantabus became Luna's razor, except instead of cutting her flesh she built it to cut into her soul.
She had created a semi-aware construct infused with her power over dreams to literally torment her every dream with how she became Nightmare Moon, her personal worst fear.  In order to make it self-sustaining, she linked it's power with how much guilt she was feeling.  This created a parallel to the "suicide spiral".  She used her razor because she was feeling guilty, and using it just made her feel more guilt ridden than before.  Because she could not bring herself to forgive her past, she empowered the Tantabus to punish her even more than before, goading it to new heights, cutting deeper and deeper.  It became her crutch, how she was able to function in the world with the demons in her mind clawing around in the back of her head.

The Tantabus is Luna's razor.

The Tantabus, as I mentioned before, was semi-aware.  As it grew in power it searched for better ways to perform its task, to punish Luna for her guilt using her greatest fears.  Eventually, it locked onto her fear of dragging others down with her.  It used its stored power to link with the Mane Six at first, and started using their fears to cause Luna even greater pain!  It was able to constantly escape from Luna because subconsciously, Luna still felt guilty, therefore her creation continued about its task.  Also, her insistence that she, and she alone must be the one to deal with it is very similar with how suicidal people feel that they are the only ones that are dealing with their problem and others cannot help them.
By the last part of the episode, Luna was unable to stop the Tantabus directly.  Her friends, even knowing what it was and were doing their best to help, could only slow it down.  They could prevent it from going further, but not get rid of it entirely.  It was Luna's guilt, her fear, her unwillingness to forgive herself that empowered it to the point where is about about to enter Equestria proper.  This is another parallel with suicidal behavior.  Where was Celestia?  In another parallel, family is often deliberately kept in the dark of a suicidal person's feelings. Luna didn't go to her sister because she was afraid of hurting her further.

The Tantabus was Luna's razor.

It wasn't until the very end of the episode, when Luna finally forgave herself did the Tantabus lose its power.  When she stopped being afraid of herself, it lost its purpose.  When she lost the desire to punish herself for her past, it lost its existence.  But it was the counseling from Twilight that allowed her to do all of that, showing that there is a path to healing, if you are willing to let others help and get counseling.
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Once again Bronycon is coming up!  I will be attending again this year and I am looking forward to seeing everyone again! 

On the art side of the house, I've slowly gotten back into the swing of things.  I've completed a commission recently and another project is about a third of the way done.  This project is my most ambitious yet, and I hope that all the tricks I've learned pay off.  Another project that has been sitting on the back burner for a while will, alas, continue to languish there until I can get the correct paints, and the room to set up again.
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Featured

Stuck by Ryouga1100, journal

Bronycon! by Ryouga1100, journal

Bronycon prep and Fiesta Equestria gofundme by Ryouga1100, journal

Magic Sheep have deeper, darker meanings by Ryouga1100, journal

Bronycon 2015 and other art stuff by Ryouga1100, journal